Things are still going yucko. I am in such a funk. I did not do any real work on my classes this weekend and that was the main reason I stayed her instead of going to Phx to see my grandpa. My uncle says that they may put in the permanent pacemaker as soon as tomorrow. I have a good feeling about him having the pacemaker and so desperately want him to be on a straight road to recovery. I am also posting tonight to see if the thing to add a comment worked. I hope it did and then again I don't know what comments are really going to be anyway. I am such a downer lately. I have little interest in anything. I can tell you I am living daily with the bright spot nearest in the future being going to Hawaii on July 3rd! Now that can definietly make me smile. I also had some plans to use this blogger as a journal for some exercises about creativity and fertility. SOmehow though I always end up out of energy when I sit down at the computer. And then there are times like this when my left ovary starts throbbing and hurting. I wanna scream OK I got the message! I know we want to have a baby! I am working on it. At some point today I also just kind of turned over the whole baby thing. I really believe I will have a baby and then I start to worry that I am took cocky and that my body needs to cooperate and that it just isn't a matter of wanting it badly enough. I just truly don't know why I would have received all those signs if I wasn't going to be a mother again. I was wonderfully busy and fine as Mommy to Bryceton. Why would I spend this money and not be successful? Is the universe that cruel? I think not.